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Casino heist tip for grinders - preps to skip
So some people on this sub seem to think you need to do all the optional preps when doing the casino heist, but this is actually a HUGE waste of time when trying to grind. You would make much more money for your time if you just skipped these preps, ran the heist, and then started a new one. TheProfessional on youtube explains it in this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M1QcKrudZoc For aggressive approach, you only need duggan shipments and boring machine. Don't bother with patrol routes, you don't need to sneak around anyone. If guards are within a certain range they will show on your map even without patrol routes. Keycards only if you can't hack, or if you think you might fail while exiting casino, but theres only 1 door that uses it so if you're experienced you don't need them. EDIT: you don't need boring machine to access sewers, it is always available. Not sure why rockstar made that mission. For Big Con, as long as you have the 54 playing cards, YOU DON'T NEED ANY OPTIONAL PREPS. I can't believe there are people here that think you need duggan shipments for big con, when you literally don't shoot anybody while inside the casino. Whats the point of taking their armor and weapons if you don't shoot them, or get shot by them? You shouldn't be getting detected on gruppe sechs, and if you're not doing gruppe sechs then you're not being time efficient anyway.. You don't need patrol routes because when escaping there are only 2 guards that you need to take out, then 1 to avoid, and they are always in the same hallways. Also only 1 door to hack while escaping, don't need keycard. SnS is the method that benefits the most from optionals. Keycards are actually useful because there are multiple doors, and duggan shipments can be handy as well so you can take out guards from afar with your gun. Patrol routes are good if you don't know the guards' usual spots, same with security intel for cameras, but they're not necessary once you learn where they are. Also don't do power drills, you shouldn't have that much time if you choose the minimal amount of people and the appropriate hacker. For example, for art you should always run as a group of 2, with a cheap hacker like Yohan (5%). You have enough time to clear the vault, and save money since the hacker takes a smaller cut. For gold, you can run with 2 people if you hack fast/get lucky with the layout, but if running with 3 you can use a cheap hacker as well. If you get cash on scope out, just call lester and cancel heist. It takes the longest to loot and is worth the least. The extra profit you get from art/gold is worth paying startup cost multiple times over. This week also has diamonds. You need 3 people to clear the vault, and paige gives more than enough time. I haven't tested it with cheaper hackers but it might work.
Diamond Casino Guide: So you decided that you wanna rob a casino, great! The Diamond Casino Heist is one of the best ways to earn money, but you're wondering, how do I get started? Well you're in luck! This guide is going to teach you the ways to get the best out of the Diamond Casino Heist! Step 1: Arcade Alright to get started, you’re going to have to own an arcade. Now, it may seem better to go for the arcades on the top of the map to save yourself some cash, however this will make all the preps much harder, as most of them take place in LS or Sandy Shores. The best arcade locations are 8-bit ($2,530,000, located in Vinewood) and Videogeddon ($1,875,000, La Mesa). When buying your arcade, none of the upgrades are necessary, as most of them are cosmetic. You’ll have to complete a quick arcade setup mission to access the basement where the diamond casino heist planning board is located. Step 1.5: Arcade Income While this isn’t related to the diamond casino heist, I thought I would put this in there. The arcade generates income based on how many games you have, going up to 5k per in-game day (48 min). The game doesn't matter, so you can just buy the cheapest one (Monkey’s Paradise, $90,000) and fill up your arcade with it. Step 2: Scope out casino After you’ve finished watching Lester scribble a big mess over the whiteboard, you’ll be able to start the casino heist. Normally, you’ll have to pay a setup cost of 25k, but since it’s your first time doing it, it’ll be free. After you’ve confirmed that you want to start the casino heist, you’ll need to finish the scope out mission. For the scope out mission, you’ll need to take a variety of pictures for lester in order to unlock entrances for the heist. A full guide is linked here but I’ll sum up the most important ones.
Staff Lobby: This entrance is arguably the best entrance for the Silent and Sneaky approach. It gives you easy access to the control room where you can get the daily vault easily. It is also the best exit for most approaches as not many guards patrol it. The staff lobby should be around the back of the casino, and should look like a white door behind some yellow bollards.
Security Tunnel: By scoping out this entrance, it gives you the ability to enter the casino as a Gruppe Sechs team for the Big Con. This entrance is the best if not one of the best approaches to the casino heist. The disguise will allow you to go straight to the vault undetected and back up, however you will be detected when going back out of the casino on the casino access floor, so I would suggest getting some exit disguises to make your escape easier. The security tunnel should look like a big metal garage door with a security camera watching over it under the racetrack.
Sewers: The sewers allow you to burrow down right into the vault access floor giving you easy access as you are right next to the vault mantrap. The sewer exit, however, is only available in the aggressive approach.
Roof Terrace: At first glance, the roof terrace may seem like a horrible entrance/exit, however as it turns out, the roof terrace is actually a contender for one of the best aggressive exits. By taking the roof terrace, you can shoot down the guards at the racetrack while them not being able to shoot back and then parachute down.
You’ll only need to do this mission once, and it will be completed for all future casino heists. Step 3: Vault Contents The vault contents mission is pretty easy. You’ll be given the rough location of a duggan security guard, once you find him, you can either hack him, which can take some time but you won’t get the cops on you if you do it right, or you can kill him and grab the phone, which will save you some time but you’ll need to lose the cops before you can enter the casino. After you’ve entered the casino, you’ll need to bring out the sightseer app on your phone to find a wifi signal. After you’ve located the wifi signal, you’ll need to figure out the vault contents. Beware that you only have a limited time to do this (2 min). Since it’s probably your first time, I would recommend that you go through every camera to scope out each POI. The target will be cash since it’s your first time, which has a payout of 2.1 mil on normal. The first time will always be cash (payout of $2,115,000 on normal), but if it’s not your first time, the targets can be either cash, artwork (payout of $2,350,000 on normal) or gold (payout of $2,585,000 on normal). There is a 4th target, which is diamonds (payout of $3,257,100 on normal) however this vault content is only available for special occasions and has been removed from the vault contents. If you do the heist on hard by doing the same approach after you’ve done another one, the payout will be 10% larger. If you’ve completed all 3 approaches to the heist, you can cancel the heist which can be helpful if you’ve got a bad target. Link to this is here. Step 4: Selecting your approach Once you’ve finished the vault contents mission, you’ll be able to select your approach. There are 3 approaches to the diamond casino heist. Silent and Sneaky, The Big Con and Aggressive. For beginners, I would recommend alternating between Big Con and Aggressive, because those are the easiest ones. For Big Con, choose the Gruppe Sechs disguise for the easiest entry. Aggressive is good for newer players however it does end up in a lot of money loss. After you’ve got the gist of it, alternate to doing Silent and Sneaky in place of aggressive for a bigger payout. Step 5: Selecting your support crew After you’ve selected your approach, you’ll need to select your support crew before you can do any of the prep missions. Selecting your support crew is very simple. You’ll need a gunman to source guns, a driver to source cars and a hacker to delay the nerve agent inside the vault. Selecting your support crew depends on the approach and target in the vault. For Big Con, SnS, any any target EXCEPT for art, you’ll want the worst gunman (Karl Abolaji, take his Micro SMG on big con, heavy revolver on aggressive and on SnS the choice is up to you), the worst driver (Karim Denz, take his sentinel classic) and the best hacker available to you, for most people, this will be Paige Harris (unlocked when the terrorbyte is purchased, gives 3:25 in the vault when undetected and 2:23 detected). For aggressive, you’ll still want to have the worst driver and best hacker, however the gunman is up to you since you’ll be using guns a lot. I normally go with Charlie Reed (unlocked when purchasing a hangar), he takes a 7% cut (2% more than Karl) and gives you an assault smg, however you can get by with Karl, as every gunman gives you a SMG to go along with another weapon, which is still a perfectly fine weapon. For Big Con, SnS and the target is Art, if you and your heist partner can both hack very well, you can get by with Yohan Blair (takes a 5% cut and gives you 2:51 in the vault if you are undetected and 2:01 if you are). Step 5.5: Secret heist crew members There are 2 hidden heist crew members that can’t be unlocked by purchasing a business like most heist crew members. There 2 are Patrick McReary and Avi Schwartzman. Patrick McReary is a gunman who takes an 8% cut and gives the choice a Combat MG or an Assault Shotgun in aggressive. Avi Schwartzman is a hacker that takes a 10% cut and gives 3:30 undetected in the vault and gives 2:22 if you are detected. To unlock Patrick, he spawns as a random event around the map. He spawns in a police car that you will need to hijack. A guide is linked here. To unlock Avi, you’ll need to destroy 50 signal jammers that are located around the map. A guide is linked here. Step 6: Prep Missions Now that you’ve selected your support crew, you’ll be presented with a plethora of prep missions. Some mandatory and some optional. To complete these missions, I suggest that you use a Kuruma, Buzzard or Oppressor Mk2 to make your life easier. In some prep missions, you will not be able to call lester, so be prepared. All of the missions can be done solo but it makes it easier if you have a friend with you to help you out. Now onto the optional prep missions. Optional prep missions, are, as the name suggests, optional. The optional prep you should do depends on the approach. If you own a penthouse and have completed all of the missions, you will gain access to the security intel mission. It’s very easy to complete and you will only need to do it once. A nice trick is that the gauntlet actually spawns when you start the mission, not when the cutscene is triggered, so you can just shoot the driver and take the gauntlet. A guide will be linked below. Let’s start with Silent and Sneaky. For Silent and Sneaky, the optional prep missions depend on your skill level. If you’re an experienced player, you don’t need to do much, only level 2 security passes. Power drills you can do if you think you have enough time. However if you are a very new player, I’d recommend that you do patrol routes, duggan shipments (you only need to destroy 3 to get rid of their bulletproof helmets), level 2 security passes, emp device and infiltration suits and power drills if you think you have enough time. If you do all these, the heist should be a breeze. Going onto the Big Con, if you’re doing Gruppe Sechs, you don't need to do much. You only need to go through one door if you exit out the staff door, so you can decide if you want to do level 2 security passes or not. Patrol routes do make things easier, however are not necessary. Again, only do power drills if you think you have enough time. Make sure you do exit disguises. Noose and firefighter are exactly the same, so do firefighters since it has the easier mission. For aggressive, again, patrol routes make it easier, but are never necessary. Make sure to do duggan shipments. You can solo it, but it will be much easier with another person. If you don’t get them all you can just close the game and you’ll be able to do the mission again. Reinforced armour allows you to take more damage, so I would recommend it even if it makes you slower. Be sure to also do boring machine as it allows you to enter through the sewers. Make sure to also do level 2 security passes unless you really like hacking doors. Step 7: Finding people to play with Now that you’ve completed all your required prep missions, you need some people to play with. If you don’t have any friends to play with, I recommend checking out HeistTeams or the GTAO Discord LFG Channels to find people to play with. Make sure to have good communication between your teammates otherwise the heist will be in chaos. Step 8: Completing the heist Now that you’ve got a solid heist crew waiting to grab all of that sweet loot out of the casino’s vault, you’ll be able to start the heist. If you're doing aggressive, the plan is pretty simple, shoot your way in, grab the loot, then shoot your way out. The easiest entry for aggressive is sewers, and the easiest exit is the eastern roof terrace. If you exit through the staff lobby, you’ll get shot a ton when going over the racetrack, however if you exit through the roof terrace, you can shoot the guys behind the stones on the racetrack then safely parachute down. For The Big Con, I’m going to assume you’re doing the Gruppe Sechs approach. By doing the Gruppe Sechs approach, you can pretty much waltz into the vault and back out of it, just be careful that this has some limitations. When going back up the stairwell/elevator to the casino access floor, the guards will have checked the vault and know it’s been robbed, so you disguise ain't gonna work anymore. I strongly suggest getting exit disguises, as they will greatly help your escape. The easiest exit for this is the staff lobby. For SnS, I’m not really going to go into too much detail here because there’s a full video linked below. What I will talk about is when to use the emp (If you did the prep mission). I recommend emp’ing when you’re at the vault access floor, allowing you to waltz into the mantrap, or when you're coming back up to the casino access floor and are in the mantrap.. Be warned that if you decide to get the daily vault when you trigger the emp, the emp’s timer will run out before you can get to your exit, so plan ahead. The easiest entrance for this is the staff lobby and the easiest exit is also the staff lobby. Tips and tricks to complete the heist
If you are disguised, do not bump into any of the guards. They will detect you and start shooting.
In the control room there is a button that you can press to open the door to the daily vault. One person has to hold the button while the other goes in and grabs the cash. This can be done with any approach.
Running and jumping is faster than just running normally, use this to your advantage while inside the vault.
Running in first person is actually faster than 3rd, so use this to your advantage when trying to knock out guards.
Don’t bother trying to escape the cops by hiding in an alley or something, either take your car into the sewers down by the LS river or take the heli that usually spawns on top of the police station. The sewers will result in you losing less money, however will be much slower. I will link both of these methods below in the useful media section.
Normally when exiting the casino from the staff lobby without any disguise, you’ll need to knock out a guard to the left of the swat fan to your right, before hugging the race track wall and then dropping down. I have found that sometimes if you run, the guard will hear you and detect you, causing you to get shot at. To prevent this, walk up to him making sure you stay out of his FOV then knock him out.
You walk much faster in the casino if you are in first person, making the vault contents mission much easier.
In prep missions, you can change any accessory (glasses, hat, ect.) to lose 1 star which is useful on missions where you can’t call Lester to remove your wanted level.
On some missions, you can lose the cops by entering your Terrorbyte/MOC/Avenger.
On some missions, you can lose the cops if you accept Lester’s apartment heist invite. This only works if you have a heist active.
In the hacking device mission where you have to infiltrate the FIB building, you walk a lot faster if you aim down sights on any gun, however if you go into any agent’s LOS you will get detected instantly, so be careful when using this trick.
You can upgrade your getaway vehicles in the arcade by getting in them and pressing the button showed on the prompt that appears on the top left.
the cosmopolitan six thousand five hundred dollar bank the bonus live play tonight last night you guys wanted some mighty cash i found you a mighty cash double up look at those numbers that we're working with same format last night we do 500 tickets however some of my tickets are a thousand bucks they're just easier that way so i'll have to do some uh thinking and uh math but i get kerry here to help me out and i got all my lovely and fans so ticket starts at a thousand dollars so we're not gonna go below 500 guys so this one should be pretty easy max volume bank the bonus live play 13.50 a spin [Music] mighty cash double up let's see this haywire five or more for the bonus [Music] mr classic tv says punky power thank you mr classic tv oh yeah mr classic tv i think you won one of those blenders or um mixers but i need to get your address so send me an email or message me on facebook so i know jimmy d won the other mixer but i'm pretty sure you are the other winner so i want to get that sent out to you yes haywire we got something big oh 45 bucks good ones big one oh i couldn't drop like the maxi because it doubles up [Music] wait there we go [Music] and carrie we trust so we're gonna have him hit the button all right gary [Music] wow that's huge let's keep getting these red ones yes this is not bad red [Music] that wasn't a good spin but if your first two are pretty solid so i forgive you [Music] yolanda rory love you bry mighty cash is the best i love you too yolanda hopefully it will come to new york here soon yeah this is a decent oh yolanda which one do i pick yolanda's picking guys left right middle if yolanda's in here we'll give her a first chance to pick one two or three your left middle right yolanda i'm gonna wait for her i am i'm in plenty of time [Music] i'm a no hurry this is a nice little bonus yolanda gets to pick [Music] leland assistant too all right here it is shoot that's fine all right let's do it anything filled up down there okay extra 13.50 [Music] yes too bad we couldn't fill that up this is not a bad little hit i'll do some ticket math later on because uh i had a thousand dollar ticket but a good start yesterday we started off great and then it went south and if smaller bets work we'll do smaller bets but i am getting some revenge on that 25 cash code it's a jackpot to start the night what do you know [Music] yolanda has no reason to be sorry how's the picture quality everybody we have one person keep saying bad picture but everybody else says [Music] [Music] nothing [Music] all right let me see if i can uh [Music] all right [Music] all right is that good now how does that look perfect all right couple backup spins come on please please please [Music] backup spins galore i saw it go by too all right two thousand dollars will be the ending point [Music] all right first game get a win nice start all right so this ticket guys oh cougar girls 9.99 super justice happy new year all right i reset it i don't know what else to do so i did reset the wi-fi i mean the picture i am at mercy of the casino and romeo evan welcome to the bod rubber ducky club all right guys since um the same ticket so five hundred dollars again i've got these thousand dollar tickets i have to use them twice so the floor is going to be 1500 all right all right 17 16 a spin [Music] that's huge 300 that's good [Music] [Applause] yep i i work with what i have so [Music] maybe it'll get better but i did reset it twice after that i can't do much i apologize but i'm working with what they have but thank you to 800 people watching one more [Music] open this pot 24. [Music] 40 bucks [Music] yes scott i just re-logged into wi-fi for the third time i did reset it and i reset it again so [Applause] [Music] all right before the bonus i'll see if i can fix the wi-fi whoops 73. if you're winning with that well i find it just keep it that way give me one second guys this is my best four games [Music] which one do you guys look all right which one should i pick i've never done this thank you raja what do you guys want [Music] miss mary brian thank you for the live play i really activity oh thank you miss mary [Music] coins [Music] all right coins all coins come on yes oh we're going to do something on the left [Music] chris had patches behind me for me hey one more time i logged out i forgot the network and i logged back in [Music] guys not much i can do guys so the i'm doing the best i can but tell me it's blurry and tell me it's unwatchable and you're gonna unsubscribe above and beyond because i don't control the wi-fi you're gonna unsubscribe from my channel uh i'm not trying to be negative here but don't say crap like that that's just not cool all right guys i'm doing the best i can to give you guys some bonus live play and kyle sell data does not work at all in vegas anyways we got a bonus 776 dollars all right there's some backup spans the floor we'll get 2800 2750 2800 we'll see how it goes and we'll do the top up if we hit it [Music] all right so 27.50 is gonna be the floor so the first thousand in we're gonna have at least 27.50 so that's a great start tonight the pot is a little over 6500 but that's what the tickets i had available was they're gonna make that work but thank you all for tuning in thank you for you know the watching the earlier live play and we got a super chat herbert d brian you're doing fine ignore the complaint all right one more spin and we're gonna cash out so far it's a good little start [Music] all right let's move what do you guys want to see next is my lucky players card [Music] so [Music] those are not multi-dino [Music] yep how you doing yeah i hope so i reset it again it's still really bad i i re-logged in crushing it you hit reconnect i hit reconnect yeah it's still brilliant now all right we're back live all right thank you all right guys garager just help me out it's great usually for a little bit and then it kind of sputters out all right guys how about some konami konami time [Music] [Music] it can go to a hotel you go to hotel next all right and play konami games radiant witch 15 to spin so the floor on this game is gonna be 500. because it's a thousand dollar ticket let's do it guys but thank you all for tuning in hey brian i got a super chat for you one dollar lucky super chat from jose all right usually the usually for a super chat has to be at least 1.99 or higher to say anything doesn't want it we'll try one this is going in the community pot there we go so now you're in action you have a point one tenth of a percentage all right taxi 10 000. yeah we need to go to the other one all right we're gonna try the hotel one all right we're gonna try one more wi-fi guys i apologize all right all right last try guys after this we're just gonna wing it but waffs 73 in bod we trust thank you wasps genomes just keep crushing it all right guys if i missed a super chat then i did do my best doing my best all right here we go it's an iphone 12 pro mac so it should the phone's not the issue here oh i think it was one away from that symbol nice you love silver lucky 25 super super chat flip phone it's a motorola gopro i have no idea come on three or more bonus symbols may trigger the money galaxy feature oh you're not like that okay [Music] we switched the wi-fi network so hopefully guys hopefully this helps it's holding up so we'll take it at this point jose ah i tried [Music] guys it has nothing to do with the camera on the phone it's the wifi [Music] chris pat you're doing great brian of data oh that's my new name brian of data 9150 so i heard you made a killing in the stock market today had a good day you guys haven't checked out raja makes money the mods have been actually posting the link so thank you mod for doing that come on kanami give me some heck yeah [Music] gosh you guys i might have to cancel live play early tonight if i have to keep modding for myself [Music] come on it's due [Music] uh now i get that radiant witch symbol when i don't need it yep once again [Music] well i would go play it and that's that's it that's the 500 mark so [Music] all right let's keep moving on guys [Music] now um somebody specifically told me i should go play high stakes [Music] you know what maybe he'll do some video poker since carrie's here tonight how would you guys want to see some ultimate at the video poker i think that could be fun 1250 spin max that volume out yay or nay on video poker oops stephen hall he requested this game tonight so he got it apple alert for guys tonight 5 30 ah so close 5 30 pacific time you know what i did really good on last night was uh one more that uh i hit those two nice jackpots on uh also environment really i haven't if we went at one more and open up the taco that is like another four i never have like an ultimate fire like played it again last night but the last couple ever since i started playing that another one ultra hot megalink i didn't go to those now they've done these whole shows okay i never liked it because i never got the bonus but now we've got all these great bonuses they're gonna take 5 30 guys the big jackpot will be live on the main facebook page with youtube live play to follow at six o'clock pacific time [Music] yes we got a bonus see what happens when i push the button all right big one here we go carrie go ahead and hit the button carrie terry first lucky raja high rollers i had to mix it up it didn't work for me yesterday all right raja your turn your turn nah all right jose hit the button [Music] okay there we go that's 125 for jose tracy says i feel bbb coming for b.o.d well we believe in b.o.d everybody hit the thumbs up jose you're on the roll ready another 125. you're fired i'm fired i'll come in and save the day all right come on all right you're in all right here we go there you go that's all you guys are worth 25. oh this is 50 cents it's 12 minutes all right carrie you're back in it come on 62.50 jose tagging you back in you're hired again come on that's this is a brd spin oh okay there it is all right same as the raja come on nature just drop it oh really i carry you're back in [Music] all right jose we'll worry about the price of the grand if we come to that all right it comes down to body [Applause] that's something 362. [Music] it is but yours is a lot tighter mine's maybe the spring's gone or something [Applause] [Music] all right backup spins we'll play it down to what 500. how does that sound that sounds great thank you one more sorry he's live right now [Music] ma'am it's 45 dollars i'm sorry that's my gunnery jose my agent told me that all right big congratulations to the quick father he's not going to be with us tonight and right when we got done playing about one o'clock last night went to the room get a good night's sleep at three o'clock he sent me a message he had to get an uber for a five-hour drive back to california he missed his baby being born that's why we picked this date early in the month because baby was due on the 18th so we're like okay two weeks plenty of time you know get home and yeah out of nowhere last night all right guys what do you think we should play next all right autumn moon let's do it ah guys i do not really charge 45 dollars a photo you guys can believe whatever you want this one's due i'm into this game for at least a thousand bucks i get this one two oh the better match yeah no no but this one yesterday all right here we go twenty dollars to spend fifty four hundred dollar major hundred and three thousand dollar grand this is slower than like that first [Music] so the floor is 500 on this game unless we decide to play a second round on it so thousand dollar ticket in the floor come on what whoa no oh i thought you had it oh wow how did you screw that up very easily oh i thought i had it thousands left what happened to that 20 orb what happened to that 20 dollar orb tracy if jose twerks upside down like naomi there will be mega booms wow you've been requesting the twerk upside down [Music] diane mccall says whatever rajo says about you after i fell for the malaria hoax [Laughter] so diane mccall says she doesn't believe anything you say about me after she fell for the malaria hoax when you told everybody i had malaria b.o.d uh brandon true b.o.d ah what what grand did you hit the other day when the raja was live it's probably the same as me having malaria whatever that's worth [Music] it's no minor finally [Music] the good news is i don't have malaria currently but the question is are you going to fall asleep 2 000. i knew this game was due ah yeah come on keeping it alive [Music] now i pumped well over a thousand bucks in this game last night [Music] plus in the group paul we didn't do too well either [Music] [Applause] thousand right [Music] oh here it comes 103 000 live let me at least see it i did not see it i got my glasses on and i don't see it again the drama it's left-handed does it work nope i need to mix it up is that what you do in the bedroom people got jokes today come on [Music] hopefully we keep playing well i can pay off my markers it'll be nice [Music] that's something is that tick-tock tick-tock well i only have one phone unlike some people wow you guys both have one phone wait we got so many girls and tracy d if you don't mind sending me a photos later on of all the jackpots thank you all right so the floor is gonna be three thousand bucks one more moon there's still good line hit john johnson boom boom boom in bod's room that's right [Music] yeah this machine was definitely due after i mean carrie watched me struggle on this game last night i mean struggle one more i knew this game had to do a comeback hi there how you doing today good how are you i'm doing well you can't do recording what did this gentleman tell you i'm spitting fake news again i'm gonna have to call security on you that wouldn't be the first time yeah they called him last time when he had those prostitutes you grabbed his hands on his feet caesar's palace was not a good day remember caesar's palace and that lady i was tracy says i'm waiting jose you got this bee all right cash it out so this yeah so yeah this was a new this was a fresh ticket jimmy beauty on ajita keep it up i got your hoodie in my room during his live play i'll get it for you all right cash cove 25 a spin so the floor is just under 2 500. purple and gold saw it's nice wind keep it up i'm going to purple gold and i got jimmy d there you go all right all right so the floor is like 2 400 and change what doesn't want my ticket i did this yesterday too gaming machine unable to redeem at this time that was weird and it took it cash go 25 to spend cash cove just under 2 400 sorry just under 2 500. come on make up make up for you so 24 in change [Music] 100 dollars get it oh but thank you to all the mods help out thank you to kerry all aboard or luxury line tiffany j beauty great live stream can you play some cats all right we'll do cats after this [Music] no thank you nope i'm doing well not drinking anything so i'm gonna hold off as long as we keep winning i will not have a sip of water the entire livestream i am very superstitious [Music] what did he get nice jose is on ajita as tracy d would say this ticket will be put in the bank after this machine is over that's a great observation [Music] [Music] doesn't want me to quit this game i guess no okay there you go all right couple more spins not gonna go below 2400 come on come on all right final spin on this game cash an hour all right all right so that i think it's done all right we're gonna put another thousand dollar ticket in so once again the floor is gonna be um 500 bucks i didn't have to didn't have time to break down the tickets cats here it is somebody wanted cats to send a super chat and i haven't done cats in a while so [Music] 15 to spin [Music] yes that's it i thought it looked it looked a lot better in my mind sometimes the lower bets work better that's a pay line on 15. oh fine don't have to convince me it looks like if i'm a game manufacturer i'm making 15 lines that's not one of mine [Music] yeah of all the games being different heights different angles it's not always the easiest sometimes to uh that's it fifteen all right 30 that's fine 30 bucks on cats ah 200 nice [Music] come on bank the bonus that's good huh 400. nice [Music] that's right johnny milwaukee loves all the games that have cats in it kitty glitter miss kitty [Music] bonus [Music] [Music] what do you think should i play 45 a spin on catch or keep it here at 30. 500 is the floor we're going for that bonus oh yeah 250. i'll tell you what we'll do actually choose the max you can only play 30 bucks so by default oh bonus nope no nope gina anyway can you play black widow uh maybe you'll do some black widow i'll tell you what since we're doing well in the game we'll i don't want to lose any money on this game so we'll set the floor in a thousand bucks so we guarantee we don't lose any money playing cats [Music] i hate to do well in the machine and go broke trying to hit the bonus so [Music] come on okay 200 just for that [Music] and if we break the two 2000 mark maybe he'll set a floor above that come on full screen say meow i likey [Music] so if the raja ever tells you something about me 95 of the time it's not true he said you were an awesome individual b.o.d yep see told you now he knows better than joke about my dogs so oh yeah that's like the one thing he knows so if he says something about my dogs that may be true but besides that i never had malaria [Music] what's not a pay line but this jagged thing is that's bs hey ben hello [Music] don't get called on me kitty cats [Music] all right um is black widow on here all right this game's getting cold i'm going to use this extra 186 dollars for black widow so the forum black widow's still going to be 500. i so whatever that's worth executive vod decision [Music] forty dollars to spend on black widow [Music] the floor is at 500 on the game he's taking some of that extra money [Music] all right a black widow floor is five hundred dollars oh there's yep i that's a lot of people say i look like the purple guy in black widow they're the pink guy does that look like b.o.d what do you guys think i think it is they modeled it after me maybe that's right the raja this is his favorite game because he gets to see me all the time [Music] wow cheryl clark blackwidow be nice to b.o.d thank you we don't think we had a single playback of anything on black widow yet [Music] not a single does black widow hate b.o.d looks like ben affleck oh there we go on the last spin it pays 160 says don't quit on me [Music] ah mark wahlberg all right final spin and we're putting this ticket in the bank for cats and black widow so cats and black widow is done now i did play some um dancing drums earlier today and i got killed 2 000 down on dancing drums so based on that it's dancing drums revenge [Music] time [Music] yeah i saw my afternoon live play we did play some dancing drums so what do i got left 500 500 500 000 so 6500 in tickets i have 2500 left let's just make it easy to put a 500 ticket here so once again guys i had to get some thousand dollar tickets i couldn't get the 500 so that's why we used some tickets twice 1760 a bet and we're going for three if we get it we're going for three the last three games we haven't done anything so we're due for another bonus here jimbo come on drums let's see a bonus i agree timbo so the mini's at 178 miners 626 that seems awfully high you son of a yeah majors at 9 000 yeah we're going for three because that's what i said all right here we go all right big money there we go that's it [Music] yes oh one more dragon that helped 120 yeah 360. [Music] all right 660 dollar bonus [Music] all right we're gonna play some more uh like 750 floor on this game we need some backup spins let's get another bonus [Music] you know screw it we'll do the mystery if we get it again that sounds fine with me mystery if we get another bonus i just hit five drums [Music] all right final spin unless we hit something um [Music] all right whoops says uh [Music] top dollar let's do it [Music] a lot of people like the double top dollar [Music] yeah 210 dollars to spend sorry 10 dollars a credit 20 [Music] we've been doing better on the lower d knobs right now so [Music] she says always double she's an expert so yeah 10's on there i'm putting a thousand dollar ticket in so the floor will be 500. [Music] so it's 20 dollars yes we did some higher spins earlier going backwards still good slide play [Music] carla howard says good luck tonight hashtag bonus time hope you're staying warm up there [Music] carla [Music] oh [Music] [Music] is my card working all right let's see this top dollar logo [Music] so close there we go [Music] almost 2 000 people watching thank you guys for tuning in tonight make the bonus live play from the cosmopolitan las vegas hit that subscribe button keep notifications on because sometimes i do surprise live play like this morning last spin [Music] and i did some like hundred dollar huffing puff this morning all right let's move on to some pinball [Music] two credit pinball we'll do 20 to spin on this too yes we'll do the video poker [Music] let's set pinball yeah uh these old school pinballs you can't see them anymore you don't find them much all the casinos that have them do not get rid of them looks like the new pinball they have it's a little different format 20 to spin so with a three credit pinball you get five shots with two credit pinball you get four [Music] that was 250 okay give this some more ammo to hit this pinball come on come on [Music] ah so close we have 1500 left after this the big jackpot will be live at 5 30 pacific time so [Music] and maybe i'll do some surprise late night live play tonight you never know that's why you have to subscribe and click those notifications on if i do like it yeah yeah it's something i was waiting for like yeah eight grand i'm like my like time just kind of stopped okay for me i'm like is it gonna happen [Music] it is what time what time is it carrie right now i think about five o'clock or so so it's 4 45 yes there we go uh i think i'm gonna keep the ten dollar genome it's working i hate to blow through everything on the twenty five dollar d numb we ain't broke i rather win a little bit of money on a smaller bet than lose more money on a larger bet [Music] yeah maybe some we'll see late no promises i did a surprise live play this afternoon [Music] and it's not a surprise if i tell you happy new year b.o.d and good luck well thank you sonny happy new year to you come on pinball get a couple decent line hips golden nugget that's a casino we're at the cosmopolitan is there a game called golden nugget oh yeah [Music] what was your biggest hit um nice on 15 bets yeah can't beat that [Music] i know where a wild wild nugget is but um some guy last night kept saying wild wild nugget the whole time and it really gave me bad juju and we lost so no wild wild nugget tonight i'm not a fan of that game anyways but we got a come on bonus 80. okay 250 it's a good start come on 80 80 no 500 bucks come on 80 80. [Music] [Applause] all right we're at 8 40. like 7 60 something like that get it five back upstairs legit whoops taught me so my final spin okay cash now [Music] 1500 left [Music] carrie and i gonna play some video poker for five thirty dollars to spin ultimate x video poker scary carry and body now beauty is gonna make the best choices oh thank you for that i'll do the best i can i got carrie here so we'll [Music] oh i didn't sorry i was um live when you texted me oh you're fine [Music] thank you thank you do you want a cosmopolitan no no no hold nothing or yeah all right oh so i was playing this earlier i got dealt four to the royal correct carry yeah i got dealt four to the royal i had a four-time multiplier up top or something and of course i did not hit it we'll be back to slots after this open ender all right seven queens [Music] maybe i should have held the aces michael alphonse in the house check out live stream casino shenanigans on facebook featuring michael halphon nothing all right the no holds barred anything goes facebook gambling drinking debauchery group sanders lodge shared the length thank you okay in order here we go oh come on give us something here come on [Music] all right here we go four to the flush let's hit this yeah look at the next all right come on four of a kind wherever oh come on oh come on top here okay guys all right come on could be eight thousand dollars it could be all right here we go a little dramatic pause come on twenty thousand dollars here it comes [Music] oh man yep yeah i got del four to the royal with the multiplier i had a couple good deals today [Music] here we go [Music] all right here we go come on four of a kind four of a kind king queen [Music] hey quads there we go oh cheers that's why i got somebody else here [Music] maybe if i do a late night it'd be all video poker live stream it's a possibility if anybody wants to do a video poker with me tonight maybe i'm going for it oh you just look at it [Music] okay so it's open ender too yeah so you need a two or seven eclipse [Music] there we go [Applause] 2500 [Music] all right [Music] nice all right so we're at 28 10. i'll probably play down 2 500 or so yeah um come on here it comes guys let's play for a miracle carry i'm good right yeah ah tyler smith the b.o.d for president carrie lee for vp i like it okay let's do it again come on four of a kind [Music] [Music] [Music] yes sir oh come on four aces come on [Music] [Music] okay that's right it's lacey from the slot ladies the one and only will she go live tonight i don't know if you guys want to send her money on only fans i think she may go live again tonight but hopefully is that how you send people money oh yeah so if you check out lacey's instagram and tracyd or whoever has it share it in the chat and on instagram they have your cash app in there so if somebody wants to send lacey 100 bucks or she gets up to 500 tonight i think she may go live again [Music] oh somebody sent you 100 you just need 400 more all right that sounds fair and whoever sends the most money can pick the game [Music] it'd probably be after the big jackpot tonight probably directly after before the group poll [Music] it actually was good she told me my left arm was sore because my right arm was tight [Music] yeah i had the hundred minute in the end well worth it eight times there we go anything i have a mask on my braces oh there we go can we get the flush can we get a flush ah yeah that's a good way to end it positive money and tracy d thank you mod tracy just shared lacey's instagram so just to confirm her cash app is linked in the buy over instagram right yeah all right so if she gets 500 tonight 400 more she will be going live [Music] am i down only 500 left yeah i guess i'm only at 500 left tonight wow i thought it had more oh yeah we had the thousand between those two machines right so what do we want to do for the last so let me think about schmidt i put 500 in there 500 here okay we all know what's going to happen last guys 25 spins huff and puff [Music] that's right guys huff and puff to end the night and wild wild nugget is being played i was going to end it tonight in a wild wild nugget but some gentleman is playing it so i can't do that yep 25 spins we're doing well we're gonna do 25 spins we did it yesterday for a thousand bucks we couldn't hit so maybe it's due that that logic worked on the uh what game did the logic were gone oh autumn moon we lost yesterday all right here we go 25 spins huff and puff let's do it um yeah maybe some late night live play i'll talk to some people and figure out a game plan there's no promises [Music] well i got some money to throw in the pot it could be video poker who knows two more yeah yeah there we go by the way we're gonna end it we got backup spins all right i'm excited yesterday was terrible today is much much better one more oops man i didn't mean to do that [Music] oh come on don't be like that it is going to be like that we got backup spin so there's one point we just want a coin [Music] ouch and the actual three games only played seven dollars and fifty cents it was bad [Music] 500 bucks will be the floor [Music] thank you that was not a good bonus nope nope nope [Music] come on the volume is maxed out that is not the issue what are you gonna do one more spin to end the night on bank the bonus live play i don't i would like to play it through but i don't know if that's fair because everybody has to agree on it so based on that um i'm okay thank you though so but guys thank you so much on behalf of b.o.d scary carrie and lacey we will see you soon remember check her out on instagram camera's on you just let you know oh hi taking my these are not i can't walk in them so i'm switching all right so check her out on instagram if she gets 500 today she's going live and you pick the game if you're the highest donor and also check her out on only fans so all right guys thanks to glot and i will see you guys later on maybe late night tonight bye
Ok It's Time for my...Annual *Pre-Burning Man Rant and Predictions!!
Ok It's Time for my . . . Annual Pre-Burning Man Rant and Predictions!!! After 22+ years of attendance, I have watched this festival go from what was described by Wired Magazine in 1997 as, "what the internet would be like if it was happening in reality" to 2020 where, "What? In reality, this festival is happening on the internet" ?!? What a serious head fuck . . . So strap in or strap on and get ready for disappointment . . . like virtually everything in this virtual world right now. Here goes this year's Virtual Rant! PREDICTIONS The Virtual Burn is going the be everything you think it could be . . . an underwhelming and depressing reminder that you are not going the real Burning Man this year. While it is still better than nothing, nothing is an extremely low bar. Get ready for a clusterfuck of 8 separately-produced interpretive video game dreamscapes, made by skilled teams of programmers eager to prove that their world-building technology will be able to make future financial investors a shitload of money. Burning Man 2021 is a 50/50 chance at best. 2022 is not looking that great either. Between The Org burning cash on side projects, the FEDs wanting to crack down hard and the Bureau of Land Management clearly pretty fucking stoked that they did not have to deal with the whole shitshow this year, it's going to be an uphill battle for the festival to return. Huge changes will need to be made. Those few gluttons for punishment who do decide to go to the playa this week will be treated to Burning Man without the Burning Man Experience. It will take all the hard work, organization and preparation for survival in the middle of a harsh desert environment for a week of Burning Man . . . just without the Burning Man. If there is one silver lining of the event not happening this year, it's the fact that I don't have to pack up my dust covered Burning Man bullshit from last year, drive 19 hours, then have to smuggle drugs inside my ass to make it past the BLM rangers just go camping in one of the most fucking miserable and inhospitable places on earth. Without Shirtcockers, Megaphones and Massive Thumping Soundsystems, it's just a bogus camping trip in bad weather with a shitload of cops. This year we will NOT be seeing the usual post-Burn MASSSIVE FLOOD of social media posts from Burners who lost their nice $60 water bottle/container somewhere on the playa, often accompanied by a story of why this particular water container was of importance because it has a strap on it, followed by a brief description of unique camps stickers on it and a photo of said missing water bottle/container. In fact, while we are starting to think about cutting costs -- How about lost and found stops giving a fuck about your overpriced water bottle. You lost it, Becky . . . let it go. You spent 20 times More Money on Cocaine for the week than the price of your fucking stoopid-Smart-Bottle-container. THE VIRTUAL BURN This year’s Virtual Burn brings about more questions than it does answers. How will Shirtcockers express their hatred of pants without a Burning Man? In a virtual world, they become no different than unsolicited dick pics. How will Artcar Owners be able to swing their metaphorical dicks around without their Artcars booming Deep House music to show the world their girth. Sure, you can build one in the Minecraft world for this years Burn . . .But lets face it: No one is gonna be like "Who did that 3D CAD drawing, I totally wanna fuck them!" What will all the Assholes with Megaphones do without Burners to heckle? Without handheld amplified audio devices and wide-open spaces, they become no different than Internet Trolls. How will Hippies on a Vision Quest be able find their spirit animal online? Without a guided shamanic ritual and Temple to burn, they become no different than someone playing Animal Crossing. If there is no moop or trash to clean up in a virtual Burning Man how can Moop-shamers be able to prove to campmates and others that they are better at "doing Burning Man " than everyone else? In a virtual world they become no different than a Sarah McLaughlin Green Peace commercial. How will Dooshbonnets and Dooshbags be able to gain followers on Instagram without the giant Robot Heart to climb? How can they show the world that they not only have braved the pool of Piranhas chomping for position for line, negotiated past the all-seeing and all-knowing doorgirl with a clipboard, proving that they have climbed both the social and physical ladder to reach the top of the Robot Heart, so that they may look down upon the lowly dancefloor with both spite and pity for the unwashed masses who where not able achieve such greatness. Without this accomplishment, they become no different than average Twitter users vying for Celebrity attention. How will Burning Man DJs be able to disappoint us with poorly executed timing and bullshit Michael Jackson remixes? Without huge Soundsystems to bang out the worst in modern electronic music, DJs just become . . . The SAME TERRIBLE DJs just now on Twitch! #playatech #Djstreaming #Djsofburningman Although each Virtual World must have been an amazing feat of programming in its scope and size, it kinda feels like a huge project that was done in a short amount of time. None of the Eight Worlds, in any way, reflect the typical Burning Man experience. However, there are a few non-official super realistic Burning Man simulators out there. By far the most realistic experience has to be the "Getting Out More This Year" Simulator. The player is welcomed to a rich and tangible 3D World of Chris's DopeAss 70s RV, which is camped way out on 4:30 and H, where your avatar can spend all day and all night doing fun things like Ketamine, or other colorful interactive game play such as snorting Ketamine, and even interact with the virtual Chris’s chat box and watch his avatar do Ketamine. Other game play options include doing Ketamine, talking about doing Ketamine and also doing Ketamine. The more days and nights spent doing Ketamine, the higher the score! If you want to experience what a typical Burner really does the whole week, than this one is for you!! Then we have: "Let's Go Party" . . . the online multi-player game where the objective is to get your group of more than 6 Burners to try and leave camp, and all go out to party together. I did not have much fun playing. I was never able to leave the front of camp. 14 hours of game play later, Brenda still needs to go back for chapstick and Ricky can’t find his bag of blow. Then once Brenda arrives ready, Kaleporia is cold and needs a scarf. Darkwad David is going back to get some blinky lights for the 3rd time. Now Timmy can't find his cigarettes . . . Fuck. “ManBun Boyfriend”. In this first person POV game, you (the ManBun) has little to no control within the game, with only a single "Ok, Sure" button to navigate within the world. The game play opens as the player is dragged out of bed at 6 AM by the onscreen girlfriend who takes you (the ManBun) on an treacherous journey of sunrise yoga classes, self help lectures, think and grow rich seminars, yoga, positive affirmation workshops, mindful guided mediations, yoga, healing arts ceremonies, wellness and well-being talks, yoga, vegan lifestyle in the new age conferences, yoga, mindful-and-wellness-group-chat and also yoga. Extra points if you can score a selfie in front of the Giant BELIEVE letters!! After 8 grueling hours of game play, it simply flashes a screen where girlfriend says "I'm Tired", and the “ManBun Boyfriend” simulator then restarts game play to opening sequence. “DJs Girlfriend”. This simulation offers a similar experience to “ManBun Boyfriend”. However, in this first person POV game, you (the DJs Girlfriend) is invited to Follow "Dj GlockTrigger" on a dubstep-and-monster-energy-drink-filled adventure as you (the DJs Girlfriend) is rushed from empty dancefloor to empty dancefloor, while picking up extra points if you can find him a "line of blow". After 12 hours of game play the screen flashes "Hey babe I'm gonna go drink with the boyies" and game play is reset. THE RANT I am not that great at finance. Obviously. I’ve been to Burning Man 22 times. That should tell you enough about my poor financial / life choices. But even this burnout Burner can do the math and see that the Burning Man Org is in financial trouble. Burning Man may need to sell out to save itself. It would not be the first time.. Burning Man "sold out" to the PsyTrance community in 1997. To help ticket sales, the Bay Area was flooded with seriously lame underproduced Rave flyers. Or maybe Dr. Dre can toss in a few million to keep The Org afloat once again. Or hey why don't we start tickling Elon Musk's balls again, and see if we can start choking on his shaft in return for some sweet corporate demon semen sponsorship. The Org has already gone pinky finger deep with him. Like when Tesla brought out a full-on Electric Car Expo. That's right, in 2007, at Burning Man, right at fucking Esplanade & 9:00, they had what can only be described as an “anonymous car dealership” from “the green future”, complete with lengthy-worded displays filled with lofty promises of clean energy, infused with subtle corporate propaganda. In the center of the exhibit sat a life-size solid black plastic model Tesla car. As well as someone on guard 24/7 to make sure no one tagged or fucked with the stoopid thing. I personally got chased out for drawing a dick in the DUST on the window! All I know is they should have burnt it down or blew it up by the end of the week, but that lame ass mother fucker was still there on Sunday when I journeyed back to draw a dick on it again -- this time with a PAINT PEN. After executing a perfect fat-sacked-choad-headed-donger on the hood, I was once again chased out by rangers, this time with pitchforks screaming bloody murder for my head!! Fuck you, Ranger Doug! You will never be able to prove that was Me!!! So Look, it's not the first time The Org spread its asscheeks for a little bit of corporate dick on the side. They also bent over back in 2013 and let Mark Fucking Zuckerberg bring a Giant Golden 'LIKE' sculpture out there. I just hope they did the right thing by the end of week and it was killed with fire. SO we know The Org is corporateBiCurious. Time to snuggle up, get out of the corporate cocksucking closet and cash in on the fact that this place sold out a long time ago. Start flirting with attractive corporate entities like Mark Z, the Google Boys, Elon, Tommy Boy from Myspace, or maybe even P-Diddy to toss in some cash to get this fucking party started again! Yo, Elon! How can we have Burning Man on Mars in 2050 as planned, if we can’t keep it going on Earth for the next 30 years? At this point, The Org can spread their legs in the backseat of that Tesla and change next years theme to Space-X. I could give a FUCK!!!!! As long as we can keep Old Naked Dudes On Bikes rolling free. Let some of these cocksucking limpdick corporations like Doritos -- who have already profited from using our Artcars and culture in a their fabricated commercials -- actually fucking pay us money and we will let them shoot a real commercial out there. Have fun pixelating the nipples out of the background actors. I COULD GIVE A FUCK as long as Shirtcockers have a natural habitat to dongslap and roam free. Let Brazzers.com build the Temple! I sincerely really don't care what they do . . . as long as Assholes with Megaphones have wide open spaces to heckle Burners in the Black Rock Desert like GOD intended. BACK TO BASICS : THE FESTIVAL WILL NEED TO RESEST Maybe The Org will stop fisting themselves in the burnhole with all the Cultural-Direction-Bullshit and get down to brass tax here. They have spent years trying to market the festival as a family-friendly-non-offensive-all-inclusive-experience for the suburban upperclass while still catering to the super elite. We need The Org to provide the DPW and Tickets . . . Not for Cultural Direction, or Large Scale Art Funding Circle Jerks, Abstract Charity Causes, International Involvement, or any of the Meaningless Feel-Good Propaganda tools they use to control the image of the festival! The number one focus from here on out needs to be the festival itself taking place once again in Black Rock City! This defacto-defunding of The Org is a blessing. Look, when it comes down to it, it's not about the lame fucking themes each year. It's about the Burners who come and contribute to the festival that makes it special. It’s not about overpriced art grants, or Rich-Dick Theme Camp placement priorities. It about the shitty unofficial un-themed camp at 7:00 and J blaring Discotrance music on a distorted soundsystem while giving away room temperature margaritas! I could give a fuck about all of the elaborate expensive blinking bullshit! Cuts cost! Make the Burning Man effigy from toothpicks for all I give a fuck. None of that shit really matters. The spirit of Burning Man is in the person giving away ice cream from a cooler out in deep playa on a hot afternoon. The soul of the festival is in Old Naked Dudes on a Bikes rolling free across the desert! The heart of the festival is the Nightmare Hippy Chick on Acid rolling around in the dust, screaming about her spirit vegetable. Believe me if The Org had its way, Burning Man would be nothing but Transformational Mediation Seminars, Yoga Classes, Ultra Overpriced Sculptures, and TED talks about how to get rich quick selling a new type of investment portfolio. I am perfectly happy with the crappy bars and half-assed theme camps that are there just to have a good time. We don't need The Org's unique brand of new age capital-elitism bullshit. They have clearly dropped the ball on the Cultural Direction for years, and the less they steer the ship, the better, cuz we have already washed up on the rocks. BULLSHIT CLICKBAIT “Top 10 Burning Man Pictures You Must See To Believe!” And once clicked, sure enough it’s nothing but a bunch of super basic-ass photos of some super-hot-Coachella-swinger-couple at sunset in front of the most gentrified “OMG I need to get a selfie in front that to show my followers on Instagram” artwork on the playa. You already know exactly where these fucksticks took the stoopid photo is front of, OF fucking course it's in front of the BELIEVE letters. It’s Basically the "live, laugh, love" of playa art. Really, I won't believe this ?! What I won't believe is that their relationship is going to last beyond next week . . . cuz there’s a 90% chance they are gonna join the wrong gangbang at the Orgy Dome and suddenly someone is not happy about the amount of buttfucking the other one received. Thanks Business Insider Magazine for exposing the public to the wild and crazy world that is Burning Man. Now every fucking Chad and Becky from Wall Street is trying to come here to get laid. "Bro if I was there I would bang so many Hot Chicks on top of those letters" . . . "OMG I LOVE those Letters!! We are SOOO going to Burning Man to meet our future husbands <3." How about 10 REAL photos you won’t believe? Too bad the cameras weren’t there to snap a picture of the guy who took a shower with a fat chick and midget porn star! It’s a shame no one from the Daily Mail UK was there to catch video of the guy who was tripping his nuts off and could not figure out how to unlock the door of the porta-potty -- escaping only by busting through the plastic roof and climbing out the top several hours later. Or how about that chick at the meditation camp that was able to summon a higher power of consciousness and transcended the spacetime continuum for a short/infinite amount of time! Where the fuck was BoredPanda.com to catch a photo of the person who was hit with a rubber dildo when it was carelessly thrown from the top of the Space Pirate ship into the Mayan Warrior crowd. Now That’s some real stuff that happens out there that I would be happy to clickbait on! THERE WILL BE SOME CHANGES MADE The Large Scale Art: Instead of funding massive installations that end up being resold to casinos on the Las Vegas strip, why not treat them like large Rich-Dick Theme Camps -- give the Installation Artists 200 DGS Tickets, and in return, these assholes will be happy to spend shitloads of money on blinky light towers or whatever, just so they can lock in those sweet sweet reserved tickets for themselves and their friends. The Tone: The Utopian Blinkylight Dreamscape has been cool for the past 16 years . . . Buuuut . . . it has gradually fallen out of touch with the world around us. For far too long, The Org has ignored camps or underfunded art that could be perceived as dark or controversial in any way, shape or form. Yet again, another example of their Cultural Direction Tactics to market Burning Man as a blinky-light-mickey-mouse-Epcot-Center for wealthy-business-insiders-and-celebrities featuring a safespace-family-oriented-wholesome-body-wellness-green-living-environment for social-media-influencer-photo-shoots. Burning Man has NEVER been a Safe place! In 1998, I witnessed a beheading by guillotine at the Opera Performance that was so realistic I spent the next 5 hours (still frying balls on acid!) convinced that Billy Graham was right about this place being a Satanic death cult that would bring about the end of the world. IT WAS DISTURBING! If the Barbie Death Camp incident at last years’ Burn taught us anything, it is that there clearly need to be risky and controversial works of art at the festival. We can't be having pussy-footed Australians throwing temper tantrums like little punk bitches CUZ they don't like the way someone put Barbie Dolls inside an oven! Why did that do-good-koala-humping-limpdick-ASS-licker think it was OK? Well . . .The Org has shoved the narrative that Burning Man is strictly "good vibes only" down our fucking throats so deep that we finally gagged from it. Why the fuck was that guy even there? Well, he clicked on the Business Insiders’ “Top Ten Burning Man Photos You Must See To BELIEVE” and thought it was gonna be nothing but butterfly sculptures and Instagram Models in front of giant letters. No Kids: Yep. Sorry Minecraft Burners, but you are gonna have to wait until you are 21 to come to this party! Renegotiating the insurance policy as an over-21 festival will save The Org millions and millions of dollars. Out of 80,000 people, less than .05% are under 21 . . .yet we have to check IDs at every fucking bar !? Every year the gate gets closed down and no one can filter in or out because someone asshole can't find their kid. This should be a HUGE red flag ! Law Enforcement uses the fact that minors are allowed at the event as justification to engage in predatory conduct such as undercover stings, camp raids and random tickets for unsuspecting bartenders who forget to check IDs. Also I am not comfortable with the legal grey area the Shirtcocking and Titbouncing in the presence of minors creates. And if it ever comes down to nudity versus allowing kids, I am sorry but we can't sacrifice the heart of this festival on account of the fact that you don't want to get a fucking babysitter for the week. Your kids could give a flying-donald-duck-fuck about Burning Man! You and I both know goddamn well that given the opportunity they would rather play video games for the week at grandma's house then have to listen to Mom and Dad fight at Burning Man all week about who got buttfucked by whom at the Orgy Dome. . . LEAVE THEM AT HOME!!!!!! So the rest of us can be free to fuck, drink, smoke and wave our goddamn dicks and clits around whereever we see fit!!! The Temple: In the early days of the David Best Temples, they were constructed from the leftover hollows of wooden dinosaur jigsaw puzzle pieces. It was low cost, recycled and pretty fucking cool! Last year’s Temple was overdesigned, structurally unsound, and made from rare rustic-oak hardwood and redwood trees imported from China. Let’s cut costs and just do what those guys from Belgium did in 2005. It's a Very Simple Plan. We get a shitload of old 2x4 boards and fucking Wing It! The Belgium Waffle House would have made a perfectly good Temple. Garbage Dumpsters: Yep, that's right. In the future we will have dumpsters at Burning Man! All the Survivalist and Moop-shaming Burners say it will destroy the festival. Guess what, Burn Nut? It's already common practice for larger theme camps to rent dumpsters that are emptied at the end of the week!! It's been going on for YEARS! So what? Theme Camps will now have to pay a dumpster fee and there will be strict rules around any public dumpsters. Believe me The Org will provide the minimum amount possible to accommodate the BLM. It won't be nearly enough dumpsters for everyone to just toss all their trash, recycling and extra bikes into. Don't worry, Radical Self-Reliant Survivalist Burnertypes, other people will still have to suffer packing up and dealing with their own trash on the ride home. Moop-shamers rejoice! You will definitely still be able to shame people for mooping and not cleaning up, if not even more so now. I don't see why we can't be Radically Self-Reliant by having dumpsters on site. We will still Leave No Trace, while leaving one less thing for surrounding communities to bitch about. Build the Wall !!! Ya fuck it! Build the Wall. So what? Honestly, it will be more aesthetically pleasing than that fucking orange fence. And if that is what the Feds want, that's cool with me -- as long as The Org gets to choose who does Security! Thank fucking god we are not doing Burning Man this year. With the world on fire all around us, it seems a bit tone-def to hold a giant rave utopia party! I, for one, will be enjoying the week indoors under air-conditioning and rolling around in the heaps of cash I am saving by not going. I’m not attending a single workshop to expand my consciousness, not giving a single gift to anyone, and not being radical or self-reliant in any way. Fuck your Virtual Burn. I am Zapper Jones. I will see you in the Dust again . . . Sometime Somewhere in the Future!
So I feel like stealth is honestly broken, I'm doing the Golden Grin Casino heist but I'm trying to do stealth but it seems like no matter what I do I always get caught and I've had to reset so many times because apparently everyone has literal eyes on the back of their heads,and the security center always has a camera right outside the door couple that with the dumb rule of only being able to answer 4 pagers before you finally get caught and you have one of the worst stealth systems in one of the best video games
Overview · Name of Run: Housewarming Gift · Run Link:https://www.reddit.com/NeonAnarchy/comments/kapd4j/housewarming_gift_20201213_2359_utc_aka_700/ · Date: 2020-12-13 · Time: 23:59 UTC · Duration: 4.5 hours · Threat: Medium · Scheduling: Scheduled, picked 24 hours in advance · GM:u/MyxieTryxle MyxieTryxle#7733 · Runners:Floxxenbox, Mirai, Professor, Shadow, XX · Johnson: Lillian O’Hara · Relevant NPCs: Janet Pendergast, Crowbar, Guillermo, Bootstrap, Lucky Eddy · Location: Bellevue · Opposition: R4 host, members of an ork thrash metal band, one painfully outclassed housewife · Casualties: Janet Pendergast’s self esteem and reputation within the Diamond Cove community · Collateral: Some lighting and sound gear, Guillermo’s cyberdeck · Synopsis: Angry housewife hires runner team to embarrass her rival for pushing her out of the party planning committee. Hilarity ensues. · Run Rewards: 24,000 nuyen or 4,000 nuyen plus 30,000 critter credit (Shadow gained 2500 extra, three of the others lost 1000 gambling), 3 karma, 2 knowledge karma, Contact Lillian O’Hara (3/1 Gear [Critters], Already Trained) (2 extra points for going slightly over on time and seriously impressing the Johnson) “Welcome to the Gates Casino in Bellevue! We noticed you’re carrying a properly registered cyberdeck in compliance with all local regulations. We would like to remind you that when it comes to security at the Gates Casino, the house always wins. Thank you for your consideration, and please enjoy your stay.” Action Report: The team headed to the Gates Casino for a private game under the party Siberian Tiger. They spoke to Ms. J, who offered them 4k up front, and 4k for each embarrassing event they could do to sabotage a holiday seasonal party by a group of orks that had moved into her neighborhood. The team accepted and got the full details, then stuck around the casino doing a little gambling while the matrix folks did some searches. Shadow ended up taking 2500 starting nuyen in gambling from the other runners, who lost their money to their teammate and the house. Floxxenbox and Mirai picked up a wealth of information on the house where the party was taking place and the members of the band. They produce thrash metal music emphasizing messages of weathering oppression, standing up to authority, and speaking out for the downtrodden. Lead Singer Crowbar (Alice Cross, oni subtype, mage), electric guitar Guillermo (Guillermo Rojo, heavy cyberware, decker, camera drones), bass and backup vocals Bootstrap (Danny Smith, personal cyberware), drums Lucky Eddy (Eddy Holland, social/physical adept). Members of the team started to express concern about messing with these orks, but a job is a job. They drove down to Diamond Cove to scope out the mansion. Professor talked them past a very confused and accidentally racist KE gate guard. XX did an overhead flight while the matrix team dived the host and Shadow assensed the building and its inhabitants. They stole a few files from the host and the bands’ commlinks, adding themselves to the VIP registry for the event and digging up info on the catering services, fireworks, and most importantly a conversation among the band about the insufferable shrew that is Janet Pendergast. Janet was the one calling the shots for the Diamond Cove community in regards to holiday parties and social events. Piecing the parts together, they realized Ms. J (real name Lillian O’Hara) was actually out for revenge on Janet for stealing her seat as head of the party planning committee for Diamond Cove. The orks had got themselves in the middle of a Real Housewives of King County situation. They formulated their plan and waited for the party in two days, hopeful that they could go through with the job without messing the band up so much. At the party, XX flew above as a bird. Mirai conked out in the back of Professor’s car. Professor, Shadow, and Floxxenbox joined the festivities. They found Janet in the back yard near the grill, trying to convince her high-class friends and neighbors that this party was a good and fun idea. First order of business, Operation Dirty Bird. Mirai hacked into the host and grabbed a feed from the camera nearest Janet. Mirai marked the target with an ARO of a toilet bowl, and XX dive bombed the unsuspecting woman. She ran to the nearest bathroom while Bootstrap pointed and laughed, drawing the attention of the crowd and enhancing the poor woman's embarrassment. When Janet emerged fifteen minutes later with soaked hair, Floxxenbox messed with the sound check on the stage where the band was about to perform. Janet ran over to the technician, screaming at him to turn it down to a reasonable level. Shadow debuffed Janet with confusion, causing her to fail a composure roll and go full Karen 9000 on the technician and his sound controls. Flox flipped the house music to a special mix of the smooth jazz elf band Dear Molly. The message “Janet’s Favorites <3 Dear Molly” popped onto the backdrop display of the stage, and the entire party stopped for two seconds. After two seconds of silence, pure outrage poured out of the mansion. Boos and jeers issued forth while Ms. J moved to the back of the house to see the product of her purchase. Janet fled toward the front of the house, deeply distressed at everything that was happening and lacking the mental faculties to deal with the situation. Professor followed Janet to the front of the house, plying her with drinks and encouraging words that she couldn’t leave now if she wanted to save face and show everyone how brave and capable she was. Thanks to the alcohol (and an ongoing confusion effect), it didn’t take much for him to bring her back into the fold just as the concert started. Flox crowdsurfed the concert, taking a hefty jostling and several boxes of stun for her efforts, but it was totally worth it cause Mirai caught the whole thing on video. When the set ended, Lucky Eddy did his customary drum solo to close out the night, then jumped up to the front of the stage and screamed “Show’s over. Who wants to fight Lucky Eddy?” Poor Janet, addled by booze and magic and bolstered by Professor’s pep talk, walked up onto stage without realizing her peril. Lucky Eddy cracked his knuckles, said “Oh, I’ve been waiting for this chance,” and picked Janet bodily up off the stage. Shadow dropped the confusion spell, and Janet came to her senses just long enough to understand what was happening to her as Lucky Eddy carried her down the docks and threw her into the lake. Mirai and Shadow kicked into the final phase of the operation: Haunted House. Shadow summoned an air spirit to cast fear spells on a drunk trophy wife. She fell into the pool in her panic, leading to a scene. Mirai hacked the trideo, audio, and lights, creating spooky effects and yelling “Everyone run!” The party fell apart as XX added kiai to the mix, with high class socialites running for their cars and diehard fans of the band leaving, declaring it the best concert yet. Mirai landed a nasty hit on Guillermo’s deck. Since he couldn’t find her, and there was weird technomancer shenanigans happening, he cut power to the entire house. The party dispersed with guests in various degrees of panic, and Ms. J was very pleased. Given that the team figured out her real vendetta was with Janet and took great pains to specifically embarrass the rival, she offered to extend their credit for the run if they wanted something from her store, Lillian’s Loyal Companions, and offered her services as a contact.
Konfidential KUWTK Producer Secrets: Season 19, Episode 5 - "Sister, Sister and a Babymoon"
Hello my fellow poor people! Welcome to this week's “Malikas Kards Konfidential," inside production details/family notes from KUWTK’s last episode, “Sister, Sister and a Babymoon” Needing 2 weeks of multiple health screens after watching this Malika-filled episode, producers surprised us with a trip to Morongo where we could pretend that we really care about the Malikas just for a brief moment in time. They gambled, put their own health at risk, discussed the horrors of giving birth to a person that’s about to pop, and honestly, nothing more. I realize that for most people, this episode is something so far out of reach from the normal Kardashian realm, so in moments like these, I am humbly reminded why this show is coming to an end. #ThisIsTorture Our A-plot is Khloe taking Malika on a babymoon, something that is apparently a very real thing, and our B-plot was Corey v. Kendall. Let’s dive in before we're all haunted by Robert Kardashian's hologram! Cold Open/Scene 1: Kourtney and Kim discuss Kendall/Kylie fight
Producers say Kourtney and Kendall spend the most time poolside at Kris' Palm Springs House.
When the family films in the pool, producers usually watch from Kris' outdoor grill and bar area.
Producers were still reeling from Kendall and Kylie's fight. They assumed the drag show ended their Palm Springs filming, but then things got turned upside down.
Scene 2: Kim and Khloe talk about the fight while Kourtney sits in the corner and says nothing
Producers spent a bit of time with Kim and Kendall after the fight to better understand what went down.
Kim and Kourtney's fight was still very fresh for producers even though it happened a few months ago. Producers say intense sister fights of that magnitude don't happen very often.
Because none of the sisters were actually present for Kendall and Kylie's fight, they were hesitant to take sides. They hoped Kylie and Kendall could work things out themselves.
Scene 3: Kim, Khloe and Scott talk about the fight + Malika's babymoon
Producers make sure every family member involved in an argument has their side captured on camera. "It's important we don't come off like the show is presenting only one person's perspective and emotions."
Although her sisters reached out, it was Kris that Kylie was in touch with the most after the fight.
Before giving birth to True, Khloe took a sister "baby moon" with Kim and Kourtney to Tokyo.
After Kim and Kanye announced in 2013 that they were expecting for the first time, they escaped to Paris for a "little baby moon"
Malika has said she craved cereal throughout her whole pregnancy.
Malika has said she'd love to have twins one day, just not in her first pregnancy.
There were a lot of mixed feelings when Scott started coughing. Most producers didn't know what to think or take seriously yet.
The crew also tried holding their breath and counting to ten.
Producers thought Kourtney was the family member who might get bored during lockdown. She loves to travel, so it would be hard for her to suddenly be grounded.
Producers thought Kim would love the downtime... she's so busy, it would be nice for her to get a breather from all of her obligations.
u/LinusRanger13 NOTE: Alright let's hold up a minute because we got some kontinuity ERRORS up in here. Let's call this scene for what it is: staged. This scene was filmed on March 30th, 2020, three weeks after Kendall/Kylie's fight and Malika's babymoon. I can tell because Kim is wearing the same shirt/hairstyle that she wore while taping virtual interviews for The Tonight Show and The View, the latter of which which aired the next day. Poor Malika... she's just trying to spend some time with her newborn baby, but this is the price you pay for taking over Kourtney's spot on the show! This must also mean that they were NOT quarantining separately here... as this was just two weeks after the L.A. shutdown. A professional camera crew clearly shot this as well, so let's hope they all got tested before filming!
Scenes 4/5: Malika sits through labor horror stories during her baby moon lunch + en route to Malika's favorite spot in the world, Morongo
Malika's babymoon was the same week (erhm, the day after) that Khloe had been in Palm Springs with her family.
The girls wanted a cute outdoorsy restaurant that was close to Morongo.
The family usually asks each other for their opinions before posting things on social media.
Producers have joked that the girls should read their DMs on camera - but it's never happened.
Many photos on the family's social media feeds are taken by the crew members. Audio supervisor Erin - aka Paxy - is their favorite "camera phone" photographer.
Sometimes producers will set the lighting and the DP suggests the framing... helping with the family's social media pics becomes a fun little production.
Throughout the babymoon, Khloe never took Malika's phone away... or made her take social media breaks.
Malika said she didn't morning sickness at all during pregnancy.
Malika has said, "I'm able to be a Malika because I have a Khloe.... we're a duo that's really tough to come by."
Producers say the girls got recognized in the casino, and there was a point where a small crowd was gathered behind their table filming them.
u/LinusRanger13 NOTE: WOW, recognized with a full camera crew in tow!? SHOCKING.
None of the girls hit up the slots, which was good for production... it's difficult to get clearance to film slot machines.
Besides roulette, the girls also played blackjack for a while.
Khloe won the most money that night.
About 20 crew members went to Morongo.
The girls spent about an hour in the casino.
Scene 11: This trip seems to never end as Khloe, Malika and their day players head to dinner
Malika thought she was having contractions for about half an hour before dinner, but producers say nothing super alarming.
Producers were really worried Malika would actually go into labor.
Despite hearing about Morongo for years from Malika, Khloe had no idea what to expect.
Producers say this was one of the longest dinners ever filmed. It lasted for hours - the girls hung out and were chatting forever.
After dinner, Malika wanted everyone to play games back in the room, but Khloe and a producer were trying to figure out how to get out of it. It was really late and Malika needed to rest, even though Malika didn't feel like it.
Scene 12: This episode still drags on as Malika gives her baby a real kick by drinking caffeine
Malika had been in pain on and off since waking up.
There was talk about Malika pranking the girls by pretending her pain was getting worse, but that wasn't until later in the day when it was clear she was feeling fine.
One of the most heartwarming moments for producers was when Malika shared a sonogram of the baby with them. It was the first time any of them saw her future son.
Khloe and Malika did steal some private moments together early in the morning and at the end of filming.
Khloe was first to leave because she had work obligations back home. The other girls took their time and hit up some shops on the way out.
Scene 13: Corey and Kris talk about the phone call w/Kendall
When Kris moved into this house, production limited the amount of crew allowed inside to just a couple. That's significantly fewer than any of the girls' homes.
Kris had spoken off-camera to producers about being in the middle of Corey and Kendall. They really felt for Kris as she struggled with her dilemma.
Kendall didn't want to see Corey or film with him. Producers say she was still super upset.
u/LinusRanger13 NOTE: After this scene aired, a "Konfidential Klip" was shown of Khloe, Malika and their other day players playing a baby game. Malika also pretends that she is in pain but plays it off as a joke. Hilarious! Nothing noteworthy here.
Scene 14: Khloe, masked up, is graced by a visit from Kris... who is shook by the new mask culture
Khloe's assistant picked up the masks at a hardware store.
When filming that day, production also wore masks per Khloe's request. Producers say masks weren't yet mandated.
Some crew members were worried about Khloe's runny nose, while others were unsure what to think. The severity of it all was still not as clear as it is now.
At this point, producers and the family were all freaking out and unsure what was going on. It was the next week when they stopped filming and went into lockdown.
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several years back evangelicals weren't comfortable at all saying trump was a christian. before and during trump's campaign conservative evangelicals were all over the map on where they stood concerning his faith: in 2015 dobson said,'I am very wary of Donald Trump,” Dobson said in his email, citing Trump’s business in gambling. “I would never vote for a king pin within that enterprise. Trump’s tendency to shoot from the hip and attack those with whom he disagrees would be an embarrassment to the nation if he should become our Chief Executive. I don’t really believe Trump is a conservative. Finally, I would never under any circumstance vote for Hillary Clinton'. in 2016, and to this day, dobson says on his 'family institute' website, 'If anything, this man is a baby Christian who doesn’t have a clue about how believers think, talk and act.' in 2011 franklin graham told christianity today: ' “No question, the guy’s got a lot of baggage. He owns casinos. He’s had multiple marriages. I did not endorse him.” when trump evangelical bouncer, robert jeffress, defended trump on fox news, regarding stormy daniels' announcement she had a sexual encounter with Trump and was paid to keep quiet before the election, Jeffress explained [to] Juan Williams that evangelicals 'knew they weren’t voting for an altar boy.' eric metaxas in responding to the hollywood access video of trump, [in] an email to 'RNS [... said he] rejected the characterization that he has strongly backed Trump, saying his support “has always been tepid and tremendously qualified." [...] in addition, 'James MacDonald, pastor of the Chicago-area megachurch Harvest Bible Chapel and a member of Trump’s evangelical advisory board, also withdrew his support after the video aired, calling the candidate “letcherous and worthless.' in 2016 mike huckabee tweeted: 'Trump may be a car wreck, but at least his car is pointed in the right direction. Hillary is a drunk-driver going the wrong way on the freeway'. the family research council president, tony perkins, put his support this way: 'You know what? Nations are built on calculated risk. Yeah. You could say we’re taking a calculated risk, but we’re at a point where we have to as a nation because what we have seen in the last seven and a half years has put the nation fiscally and culturally on the edge.' of course, we can't forget jerry falwell's endorsement as early as january of 2016: [...] “In my opinion, Donald Trump lives a life of loving and helping others as Jesus taught in the great commandment,” he said. “He cannot be bought, he's not a puppet on a string like many other candidates ... who have wealthy donors as their puppet masters,” he said. “And that is a key reason why so many voters are attracted to him.” at this time there's no direct evidence, nor cohen's testimony that there was a quid pro quo for falwell's endorsement. the falwell's and trump's have been friends since 2012 when trump spoke at liberty univ. it was falwell's endorsement that opened up the evangelical base to trump and ultimately cut ted cruz out of the race. but it can't go without saying that knowing the past 4 or 5 years of both trump and the falwell's lives, the entanglement is very deep, as you will see. so, given the lack of evangelical consensus, the lack of a solid biblical argument, and the life of trump, the location of where to put him, while retaining some evangelical dignity and avoiding hypocrisy, a charismatic evangelical named lance wallnau enters the story with his best selling book, 'God's Chaos Candidate' on oct of 2016, as well as his piece in 'charisma news', 'Why I Believe Trump Is the Prophesied President'. wallnau argued trump 'is a “modern-day Cyrus,” an ancient Persian king chosen by God to “navigate in chaos.' he even added a little numerology: trump's the 45th prez and cyrus is god's anointed in isaiah 45, so trump's anointed. makes sense right? anyway, aside from us living in a democracy, the idea grew, even to the point of netanyahu comparing him to cyrus. now many evangelicals are compare him to king cyrus. two years have now passed and it was a month before the 2018 midterms and a movie came out called, 'the trump prophecy.' the film was a partnership between 'reelworksstudios' and (-wait for it-) liberty univ's arts program, where it attempted to make the comparison of cyrus and trump. popularity grew when fox news' jeanine pirro touted the film, along with many other radio and tv hosts . while the idea of the cyrus-trump connection is still being floated it doesn't make sense now. why? due to trump openly stating he's changed his faith. more specifically, when trump himself, a couple weeks ago became a non denominationalist, it closed the personal distance between him and jesus, it, theoretically, should bring him closer to jesus, which negated the cyrus typology, which gave him distance from jesus; that's the point of changing one's faith isn't it, to get closer to god. as that distance is now gone, as cyrus was a pagan, and trump is claiming he's a reflective christian -a genius-, having deepened his faith, how can he still be compared to a pagan king? -especially with being surrounded by evangelicals for 4 years. over the past 40 years non denominationalists have grown over 400%, and a 1/3 of all evangelicals are nondens.. who are the nondens? they're basically the largest protestant denomination, and made up many southern baptists, with provisos.. it's unusual for a very stable genius billionaire, to self identify with nondens, but paula white has a 6,000 sq ft home, former trump faith advisor in the 1950s (check out 'the family' on netfix). so, perhaps trump is an eisenhower type, having changed his faith for political profit? if he did, one thing is certain; he can't use the cyrus connection any longer, for attempting to now makes him a public con. trump has stated, 'i'm the chosen one.' he was joking, somewhat, but like so many of his supposed jokes, they usually appear two-sided; they're like a reverse irony found under a bulimic joke, like: “Suburban women, will you please like me? - Please. Please,” he said in PA last week. his other "jokes" we have to wait several hours or a day later to discover if it really was a joke: “When you do testing to that extent, you’re going to find more people, you’re going to find more cases,” Trump said. “So I said to my people, ‘Slow the testing down, please.’. again, '"And then I see the disinfectant, that knocks it out in a minute.. and is there a way you can do something like, by injection, inside, or almost to clean... It sounds interesting to me.' and again, 'russia, if you're listening, i hope you're able to find the 30k emails that are missing.'. these dormant jokes a day or so later are fairly common and have created lots of confusion. i bring this up 'cause trump uses religious language more than any other past presidents in a 100 years, more than twice as eisenhower, and figuring out what he's really saying regarding faith, in politics, isn't any better than his policy discussions, and some might say it's worse -- as he weaponizes/attacks it, too:
when one looks at trump's photo op at st. john's church, as the clergy and protesting faithful and others were cleared with force and gas, just moments later trump took their place on the church sidewalk, standing alone, fixated on cameras, fumbling a bible, then holding it next to his head, never praying, nor mentioning god. during that time, he said two times, 'we have the greatest country in the world,' then walked to the front steps of the church, stood with his back to the steps, as the other pics must have somehow lacked his authority, called some of his staff and bill barr to stand with him while they posed for more pics, stating twice again, ' we have the greatest country' or words to that affect. here one say that trump weaponized the church equating it to a dominating power over those who disagree with trump's edicts. it was a symbol for what constitutes christian nationalism, in my view.
“I don’t like people who use their faith as justification for doing what they know is wrong,” the president said. “Nor do I like people who say, ‘I pray for you,’ when they know that that’s not so.” Later, in front of dozens of members of Congress at his acquittal celebration at the White House, Trump singled out Pelosi and Romney by name, going further by accusing her of neither praying for him, nor praying at all. “She doesn’t pray. She may pray, but she prays for the opposite. But I doubt she prays at all,” the president said.
trump said of ted cruz: "but I've never seen anybody that lied as much as Ted Cruz. He goes around saying he's a Christian. I don't know. You're going to have to really have to study that. yes"
a trump tweet on cruz: 'How can Ted Cruz be and Evangelical Christian when he lies so much and is so dishonest?
trump in ohio:'[biden] will take away your guns, take away your Second Amendment. No religion, no anything.” [...]there will be no god is biden is elected', and biden 'will hurt the bible, hurt god,'
finally: Trump responded swiftly at a campaign event in South Carolina, saying: “For a religious leader to question a person’s faith is disgraceful.” “No leader, especially a religious leader, has the right to question another man’s religion or faith,” he told a packed room at a golf course resort.
of course, trump's not the only person to weaponize god-talk. pastor paula white does it as well: christians will 'stand before god if they vote against trump'. of course, she's known as the most adamant evangelical that says trump is a christian. sadly, she's had her run-ins with heresy regarding the trinity, is a prosperity gospel preacher, gone off the rails publicly more than once, has been investigated by the senate, published a book in oct of 2019, that 'christiantiy today' called, disturbing, depressing, narcissistic, dishonest, materialistic, lacking self-awareness, shallow, and trumpesque. so, she's really something -- and of course she's probably trump's top spiritual adviser that works in the white house. the same failure of christian virtues can be said of jerry falwell jr, the president of one of the nation's largest christian colleges, but truly, his narrative doesn't need repeating, except the new sage of he and his wife's game of 'would you rather'.. the same also goes for pastor franklin graham, who is a xenophobe and weaponized 'opposition to President Donald Trump to “almost a demonic power”, metaxis agreed, although he didn't like the 'almost'. finally, to end our sampling, there's pastor robert jeffress statements that anti-trump 'evangelicals are morons. They are absolutely spineless morons, and they cannot admit that they were wrong.' [...] “We cannot afford to be like German Christians who, in the rise of the evil reign of Adolf Hitler, just remained neutered. They remained silent. And you saw what happened there,” Jeffress said. “I think there’s a similar wave of godlessness that is rising in our country right now, and we must push back against that tide.' this is not an argument of guilt by association, these individuals have shown evidence of a failure to abide with the teachings of jesus and the church. their miscarriage is aligned with trump's, and perhaps more so, as they for decades have studied christianity. yet, they aren't running the country and lying daily about the covid virus as thousands die weekly; they aren't constantly attacking and damaging the usps,, mail in ballots,, the press, race, climate science, fauci, the fbi, even saying doctors are profiting off of covid deaths and inflating the dead numbers, attacking impeachment accusers, his sexual misconduct accusers, gold star families ...the list of trump attacks are almost found everywhere and everyday now. therefore, if he's not cyrus, not a christian, is he a con? i think the evidence is abundantly clear. for much of the attacks and weaponizing of people, institutions, and things, the gop has also been silent. they are silent on race, the media, even their own institutions. i'd be something if they came out and supported him in numbers, but they don't. paul states in 1 cor: 11: Do as I do, for I am doing as Christ did. i don't see that happening much in the gop or trump's staff or trump himself, given he's the most religiously rhetorical president in over a 100 years, and that the nondens are the true believers; in fact, the evidence appears to indicate the opposite conclusion. donald trump is a con of the highest order, a chronic liar, a cheat, and devious. therefore, evangelicals should ask themselves ‘what would jesus do about this?' the answer would be, 'don't vote for trump.’
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